You Are Woman, I Am Man

Here's what gets me.

It seems to me that whenever society identifies and labels a "problem," it is more concerned with identifying and blaming the "cause" of that problem, much less trying to solve the problem and even much less determining that a problem really exists.

I believe all problems can be blamed on stupidity (to put it harshly), lack of intelligence (to put it moderately) or lack of common sense (to put it mildly).

For example, take a problem that exists between men and women. Please!

Now, the common methodology of problem solving consists of (1) Identify the problem, (2) Imagine all possible solutions to the problem and (3) Select the best possible solution.

Have any of the disgruntled participants (that is, all men and women) bothered to identify the problem other than to make erroneous, inflammatory generalizations such as "All men are rapists," "All women are emasculators" or "All people are stupid"? (Okay, okay! That last generalization was mine.)

As I see it, the problem from women's point of view is women are jealous of men (to put it harshly), women are dissatisfied with their traditional roles in society (to put it moderately) or women think men are pigs (to put it mildly).

From the men's point of view, women are making a big deal over nothing (to put it harshly), women are dissatisfied with their traditional roles in society (moderately) or all men are pigs (etc.).

The only simple identification of the "problem" is "A problem exists between men and women."

Logically, that is no more helpful than the incomplete and asinine syllogism of "Pigs is pigs," "Business is business" or "Men are men and women are women."

Many people believe problems are solved by blaming the cause of the problem, changing that cause and voila! Problem solved.

Fine, but first you have to identify the problem, and so far all we have is "The problem is a problem."

Assuming that a problem exists (which is true, because some people are unhappy and everybody's desired state is happiness), what if we accepted the notion that not all "problems" can be solved? What if we decided (1) a problem exists between men and women, (2) problems have always existed between men and women and (3) how can we live with those problems as comfortably as possible?

Well, one way is to stop blaming men for the problem, stop blaming women and start blaming nature.

"What?" you say? "Blame nature?" you say? "That's stupid!" Right! If you would rather blame the cause of problems than solve them, blame stupidity, because if we were all smarter, we would prevent problems from ever occurring.

Stupidity is simply the quality or state of being very dull in mind.

Let's face it: According to the Bell Curve of Intelligence, some of us are very dull in mind. Nobody wants to be, but facts are facts. In fact, the majority of us are dull in mind.

Which brings me to the Embarrassing Sixties. I believe the "problem" between men and women gathered momentum during that silly decade.

Baby Boomers were protesting that everybody should be treated as equals. Men burned their draft cards to protest the war in Vietnam. ("Hell, no! We won't go!") Women burned their bras to protest the war of the sexes. ("Hell, no! Let 'em flow!")

Now, as a young man I was turned on by all the sudden influx of unfettered breasts, knowing the only thing separating my eyes from forbidden fruit was one thin layer of cloth, not cloth, latex and wire underpinnings.

And while nobody was watching, we all got stupider. We started to believe that everybody was equal, or else, they should be. We started to give every kid a colored ribbon in school races, because no one should have low self-esteem. We started to ignore rules of grammar in school compositions, because creativity should flow and not be stifled. And we started to believe that men and women should be equal, because ... fair is fair.

But Nobody said life is fair. Men and women are not created equal. Men have penises, testosterone and agressive upbringings. Women have vaginas, estrogen and passive upbringings. And those are just the majority of the people on the old Bell Curve of Sexuality.

Previously, men could get into trouble by repeating the lyrics "You are woman, I am man: Let's kiss."

Why can't we just accept the mantra, "We are all people: Let's lighten up"?

I rest my case.